It Hurts to Love
by nomcookiemonster
Summary: Harry James Potter is going to be raised by the dark lord and his fellow death eaters, what would become of the relationship? will Harry eventually discover the truth? - this is a Father and son fic xxxxx
1. Chapter 1

Harry James Potter is going to be raised by the dark lord and his fellow death eaters, what would become of the relationship? will Harry eventually discover the truth? - this is a Father and son fic xxxxx

Hi, this is my first fanfic, so if there are any mistakes then please just let me know - il know there will be a few. Before i carry on and let you read on please note - just in case you get confused - that "Harry James Potter" is going to be "Tom Salazar Riddle" - it says why in the fic xxxx also Volamort is going to look like his old self and not like his snake like form xxxx and last of all ...

_Flashback - italics _

* * *

Tom Riddle P.O.V

"Where is he Bella?"

"He is upstairs my lord, would you like me to call him down?"

"No need, I will venture up there myself."

The place had not changed much since my last visit, to the Lestrange's home. The walls were dark and they were stained from the moist coming through, the dark wallpaper.

I knew Bella was not the mothering type of person, but, right now was not, the time, for me to take the boy away from this undesirable facility – posters were plastered all over the streets, which asked if there was any information or sightings of 'Harry Potter' – but once people started to forget about a boy named 'Harry Potter', I would take him from the Lestrange and I would raise him as my own.

_As I arrived at Grimmauld Place, a strange feeling, started to arise. Something was going to happen tonight, something special, by which I can not explain. This was the last house to be raided, on this bleak, quiet street. _

I was pulled out of my thoughts, due to a banging, that was produced upstairs. I started to walk up the splintered steps, to find the individual creating the banging.

_I made it inside the house of Potter. It looked like no one was home, the lights where off and the curtains were draw and there was no sign of any noticeable noise or presence. But, then my ears darted towards a faint cry, from up the small stairs. My frown, turned into more of an insane smile. _

Once upstairs, I found myself outside my sons bedroom and slowly pushed open the unhinged door.

"What are you up to Tom?" i asked, a strange feeling came back again, it was so rare, to call someone by my name, but, I could no longer take risks if I was wanting to keep the boy, if I started to call him Harry Potter, people would start to realise the true biology of the boy.

_"Avada Kedavra!" the pathetic mudblood female. I was now faced with the source of the cry. The boy stopped crying when it realised it was being watched. An awkward silence drifted between us. The strange feeling was stronger than ever. I wearily placed my hand on the boys head to focus on his alienated magic. "That's impossible, the magic him, is much more powerful than I thought". I looked at the boy again, it was now my turn to play god with the child's life but with his powerful magic, much like my own, I knew he would serve a better purpose than to be dead. _

My son looked back at me, as I walked towards him and tried to greet him with a hug, he started to cry.


	2. Chapter 2

**Just for another note:**

**Tom Riddle POV = voldemort**

**Tom Salazar Riddle (Harry James Potter) POV == Harry James Potter **

* * *

Tom Riddle P.O.V

"Tom, I know this is going to be difficult for you, but, it is for the best." I reassured him, as I flicked a bit of dark brown hair away from my face. He then started lift his head up from the pillow; I could clearly see the tear filled eyes. My heart, started to break, I couldn't stand seeing him like this because i started to feel closer to my son as the years went on, although in public I would hide these feelings pretending there was more to him, than some company. My status was important but so was my son.

I placed, my hand softly on his shoulder, he shrugged it away burying himself deeper into the dark, silk, velvet bedding.

"But, daddy I like it here with mummy, she did a really good job looking after me." I was shocked by this statement, he turned his face away from the pillow again, and his big green eyes were now pleading with mine. We may not have been biologically related, but his appearance was exactly like mine.

"Lestrange can come and visit, if you really want to see her again." I tried to make my voice sound as soft and understanding. Even though, my blood started to boil over its average point. I remember, clearly stating to Bella not to get too attached to the boy.

* * *

Tom Salazar Riddle (Harry James Potter) POV

I hated my, dad. I still couldn't understand why he was taking me away from my home and where would he take me to. I did not mean to hurt him; he meant so much to me. Every Christmas and Birthday he would always send me large gifts which no other kid could afford. He never forgets.

Where as, mummy, would also get me lovely things and make me large banquet meal and I could eat as many sweets as I want. It was always something I looked forward to, throughout the year. Unlike dad, mum was always there. Dad only comes, around ten times a year, but, not always on special events, but, why would daddy want to take me away from mum. Sometimes I would ask "Why can't you come over more?" and he would always reply the mud-bloods were trying to break us apart but in till things would settle, I had to stay here with mum. Maybe, he wanted me to stay with him because the mud bloods have left us alone but mum still likes to hide me away from the outside. I am never allowed outside, not even in the garden because mum said "mud bloods were evil people who would snatch little children even when there in there gardens".

"Ok, but mum has to come and visit me everyday."

"Deal, now pack your things and place them in this suitcase." he said as he handed a small brown, leather worn suitcase.

"Dad, I have a lot of stuff, it can't possibly fit in there."

"Just try it." I did as I was told, I did not know the exact depth of the suitcase, but to my surprise, it was able to fit everything, from small objects such as books and crystals, to my latest broom. "I love magic"


	3. Chapter 3

Tom Salazar Riddle (Harry James Potter) POV

I held tightly onto my dad's hand, for the apparition, I was excited and scared, in a way, due to this being the first use of transport.

I did, as I was told and held my eyes shut. "Three, two, one!" I was told that I could now open my eyes. Once my eyes became less blurred I was faced with a large manor, built from gray stone, it was huge and it stretched for miles, I could not believe houses could get this big. I then looked up at my dad; he gave me a smile, which I thought was filled with wonder and madness.

"This is your home. Your in charge and you know you'll get whatever you want, all you need to do is ask." He then crouched down, to mimic the same head height as me. "However, I do have rules that you, always, need to follow no matter what. Do you understand." I nodded, he voice started to sound a bit more demanding. "I broke down the rules, so you can easily, memorise them. First rule: always ask if you want to play outside. Second rule: never leave the grounds. Third rule: I have to always be there, but, you must understand I won't be there on certain occasions, which we can discuses, at a later date once you have settled." I nodded again. He gave another grin and slightly tightened the grip on my hand.

"Ow and another thing, there are moral rules, as well, which would take to long to explain but you may learn better if it's practical, so if you make a mistake I will correct them." Again I nodded and we started proceeding to the door of the manor. "But im not doing this to be cruel, only because, I care and that I love you." He tried to brighten the mood with that statement, I could always tell.

"I love you to dad." It was merely a whisper, which I aimed at the floor.

Tom Riddle P.O.V

I knew he would like it, his eyes seemed to brighten up, or maybe they were dry tears. He looked pale and ill, his dark circles became more defined, which could easily be seen, now that we were in the lights. Although, he always seemed to have a pale completion which would compliment his dark hair: even when I first laid eyes on him.

"I have enrolled, a nurse to take care of you, she is a house elf, so she may not have all the time in the world to play but she will help you with certain things."

"Like what?" he looked up this time.

"Like helping to put you're clothes on and"

"I can do it myself, mum taught me."

"or brush your teeth."

"I can do that to."

The conversation died moments later. We arrived to the entrance to the manor. **_:open: _**The door opened. "How were you able to do that?"

"Magic" I answered, hoping to broaden out his curiosity in the dark arts later in his life.

"but all you said was open and it opened." He studied me for a few moments before entering.


	4. Chapter 4

Tom Riddle P.O.V

I decided it would be best to show him to his room first and then the rest of the house. His room was on the third floor of the large house.

"And this is your room." His room was large and dark with a window, to the left of the room, with large drapes: which matched the drapes, on the dark oak four poster bed. He also had another room connected to the bedroom which led into a small library and living area, which he could use during his spare time and a bathroom which was also connected to the bedroom. I had the house elves polish the floors, with a toothbrush, to show the true beauty of the room.

* * *

Tom Salazar Riddle (Harry James Potter) POV

I never knew a room could get this big, my old room at mum's house was much smaller and more compact, which was fine with me because the rest of the house was very miniature.

"This is huge!"

"I knew you would like it and if there any problem, then my room is right across the corridor."

"I am sure, that I will be fine." This was a lie, and we both knew that. Sometimes, I would get really bad nightmares, that would cause anxiety attacks but, If that happens I usually, sneak into mums room and sleep next to her, sometimes she would get up and get some milk and cookies to try and get me back to bed again – depends what mood she is in. Mum is more like a 'loose cannon' in that case sometimes, she would have her good moods – which would consist of her spending more time together, loving and basically really happy, which made me happy - or her bad moods – we kept to ourselves during that time - depends on how the raid went the night before – although she rarely went out.

"I will leave you into get settled and I will call the nanny to help put your evening clothes on."

"But I can do it myself."

"Then she can assist you. I will give you fifteen minutes to get ready."

As soon as dad diapered, the Nanny elf appeared.

"Hello young master Riddle, I am Nanny and I am here to assist you."

Nanny ushered me towards the large, old Japanese, gold and black cupboard. Nanny opened the cupboard and picked out a plane black shirt; with silver buttons and some plain black, ironed trousers. I raised an eyebrow.

"He loves colour." I accidently said out loud, but Nanny only gave me a small smile, at my little statement.

"Would you like help to put them on or would you like me to wait for you…"

"I will try and do it myself, thank you."

Seconds later I stripped off my old, grey, baggy top and started to place the dark shirt. It looked like cotton but yet it felt like silk as I felt wrapped in comfort: as much as I hate to admit it.

Five minutes later, I had my trousers on and I was ready for dad to come in.

"Young master, you have a three minutes to wait, would you like something to drink while you wait."

"No thank you, its only three minutes."


	5. Chapter 5

**Please note this is first draft so there is going to be a lot of mistakes and grammar problems. Sorry for the long update but please leave i comment weather its good or bad just to let me know if the fanfic is doing ok. Thnx for reading xxxx**

* * *

Tom Riddle P.O.V

It was exactly, fifteen minutes before I arrived outside my son's door. I knocked before I entered. As I opened the door I could see him sitting on the edge of the four poster bed swinging his legs around the edge of the bed.

"Hi are you ready to come and get something to eat and possibly see some more of the house."

"sure." I was expecting more of a reply, but he looked like he was in a deep thought.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Fine."

"I remember when you were small and you used to look forward in seeing me." I really tried to engage, in some sort of conversation.

"Do you know what dad? I don't feel well at the moment." I stopped at this statement he did look a little to pale but he could stand and talk normally.

"What's wrong?" I said as I bent down to his level and placed my hand over his fore head expecting to find a slight rise in temperature. But there was nothing to indicate there was some sort of illness.

"Head ache."

"Do you want to try to eat something? It may help it go away." He nodded at that and we continued.

* * *

Tom Salazar Riddle (Harry James Potter) POV

I usually got head aches but, every time dad came near me, it got slightly worse. Sometimes, it was a bit on and off, sometimes I got really bad head aches and at other times it would be nothing. Dad ushered me towards the across from my room and he claimed this was his room and I could just walk in if I ever needed anything. He then opened the door and the size of the room was much like mine. Except the furniture was a lot larger and it had an oak fireplace, that was facing a settee, with a silver frame and dark fabric. There was also a bed placed in the centre of the room – like mine – but the bed had dark green/blue overhead curtains and a chest placed at the end of the bed. The room also had a Chinese field to it with golden décor and ancient Chinese scriptures in sculpted into the draws and cupboards. Although, the room was comfortable in the daylight – due to the large windows – I would not want to wonder the bedroom or the house at night. The dark oak floor boards throughout the house brought a dark sensation throughout the house.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes it's beautiful." He smiled at my reply. I could not figure why he smiled but I seemed embarrassed when I received it, not understanding the true concept of my manor. I mean I was seven, after all.

"Ok now let's get some lunch." I held his hand as he led me down to the bottom of the stairs. I also noticed another door in between the two stair cases.

"Dad what's in there?" I pointed to the strange, lonely door.

"This is the only room that you are never allowed in until your old enough, to understand."

"I will understand and im old." He burst out into a small chuckle.

"I meant when you are a full grown adult."

The conversation, about the door ended there. We continued on, to our left until we entered another room. The ceiling was a lot larger and grander than the bedrooms and facing us was a large dark wooden table with about twenty chairs placed round it.

"do you not remember this room?" I shook my head. We walked to the end of the table and he lifted me up placing me at the head of the table and then dad started to sit next to my right.

* * *

Tom Riddle P.O.V

I remember when my son first came to this house.

_"You may come in Bella." She slowly entered the dining room; I could see my son besides her holding on tight to her robes. Bella continued to walk towards me but then she stopped and bowed and so did my son, he was on his knees with his head on the ground facing the floor. _

_"Bella you may leave."_

_"Yes my Lord." She did so and left my son behind. He began to shake, but why? Was it due to fear or the stories being told? _

"_You don't have to bow to me." He slowly looked up at me. I noticed a bit of paper, folded, in-between his left hand. Minutes later he got up onto his feet, with his head down. "You don't even need to put you're head down." Then he lifted his head and looked up at me. I kept in my seat not wanting to chase him across the room. I beckoned him to come over. He did so with hesitation. Now he was in front of me. I then turned away to look down and finish the chapter in the book. Before I knew it he was on my lap. Quickly closing the book and looked at him with confusion. He got off my lap and kneeled again "Im sorry my lord." He chocked. I was more confused than before, not knowing what to say I picked him up off the floor and placed him back on my lap and started to wrap my arms around him. Now it was his turn to be confused. He looked up at me and gave me the piece of paper. I began to unfold it and it was a drawing, of some sort of shapes. "It's very good" he looked up and smiled and started to cling onto my robes "and you don't have to call me Lord because im you're dad." I whispered as i placed a kiss his forehead. _

"I wouldn't expect you to remember because you were three at the time." even though I knew he remembered.


End file.
